Miscarriage&Infertility: What we want you to know

The topic of miscarriage and infertility are not often discussed. This can make someone who is going through miscarriage/infertility feel incredibly alone. I have already shared my story with you all (Read it here) and I feel called to continue to share on this topic because I know how hard it is. Today is actually going to be part 1 of 2 posts.

"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you." Isaiah 43:2

A few weeks ago Carissa Barzee opened up a conversation on her Instagram about miscarriage and infertility. She asked people who have experienced miscarriage/ infertility to share what they want others to know about it. She also opened the discussion up for people who know someone who has experienced it and what they would like them to know. This was an incredibly powerful thing to see and read everyone's responses. Today I want to share some of the most common responses that I saw. I personally did not struggle with infertility, however it is a common thing and it is so heartbreaking. I want to include infertility into my post because chances are you know someone who is struggling with it.

This post is for friends/ family of someone who is struggling with infertility or miscarriage. These are a few things we want you to know. If you are someone who is or was struggling with these issues I encourage you to read through it, I found it very helpful to know that I was not I was not alone in the way I was feeling. This post is written in love and is not meant to offend anyone, rather inform you and help you be able to understand your friend/ family that is going through it.

1. I’m sorry if I disappear, sometimes it’s hard to cope

2. I don’t need advice, just an ear to listen

3. I may seem fine but my heart is still hurting with for baby

4. It doesn’t matter at what stage of pregnancy the baby was lost. It hurts all the same

5. Stop telling me it happened for a reason. Although that may be true. It hurts

6. Rainbow pregnancy is amazing yet terrifying. Be patient with me and my emotions

7. Please don’t say “at least you can get pregnant”

8. Miscarriage is hard. It takes a long time to heal. Don’t rush me

9. While I’m healing. Don’t ignore me. Ask how I am doing. Be present in my life

10. Just think about what you are saying before you say it

11. Even though I’m hurting from my loss/ infertility. I will be so happy for you when you get pregnant.

12. Please ask how we are doing. Loss and infertility are very lonely

13. Pregnant friends. Don’t avoid me or be afraid to talk to me. I am happy for you

14. Sometimes there are no answers for infertility and loss.We can’t answer all of your questions. Just pray for us.

15. Don’t ask "when are you having kids?" It hurts

16. My miscarriage was not “meant to happen”

17. Treat miscarriage like you would any other death. Bring flowers, meals and cards. It means a lot

18. It consumes my thoughts daily. The pain is always there

19. Don’t take it personally when we don’t go to certain events. Some things are too hard

20. I know it’s hard to be a friend to someone who is in a dark place. Please don’t give up on us. We need support

If you are struggling with infertility or loss of pregnancy please know that I am praying for you. I know this is a hard road to be on and that is why I am so passionate about sharing and bringing awareness to it. If you ever need an ear, please reach out. I would love to help encourage you and build community for you during this time of heartache.